Blogging depression at 3AM

I think it’s been a while since I posted an entry and I have a lot to share from my trip to Boracay last week. I’ll have that post up sometime this week. Right now, I just wanna write and exhale some feelings subtly haha!

I haven’t really been that busy but when you’re feeling down most of the time, it seriously takes up your time more than you expect. I have the tendency to overthink things and be depressed about it almost immediately.

I don’t know if I’m making sense right now since it is being written at 3am but anyway, bear with me! haha!

Lately, I’ve been asking myself questions that I believe I already know the answer yet somehow want to contradict it because it’s the right thing and yet it’s not what you want to do.

One of the questions that constantly pops up to my mind this week is: Does it pay to be humble?

I realize that humble people tend to wait a bit or even more longer to get the feedback that they want and as a young person with sometimes hot-tempered, jealous and inner bitchy personality, I find it hard to do it sometimes. Especially when the person who occasionally pisses you off is always beside you and always have a self-centered personality almost always gets everything wanted.

Life is unfair. I know. 

Somehow I feel like I just need to get away from this place and all these people so that I can find my independence and myself. There’s so many unspoken expectations that I’m pressured to achieve and no matter what you do there’s always someone stabbing you in the back.

Life like this is depressing and stressing. 

This post is becoming depressing and stressful. I tend to do that when I pour my emotions out and yet somehow you don’t get what I’m talking about (though I hope some of you do). 

Reality isn’t that great. And I guess that’s why I’m one of those people who tend to wonder and dream of another life and wishing that we could just step into a movie we wanted.

But then again, what’s the meaning of life if not for reality?

I just wish there was like a magic closet in every house that can lead to Narnia. That would be awesome!

Oh well. It is what it is.

Sorry for a depressing post. It is 3 in the morning haha!


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