In Between Worlds

There are worlds in between smiles, in between tears, in between sighs that we often forget hold so much meaning into our real ones. We live a life infested with career, worries and depression that often these worlds are tucked away in a tiny space and we don’t even realize that we are often in those places but space out too much thinking of unimportant things.

Why do we live? Is it to please others? To be the best for somebody? To feel even just a drop of love? 

Isn’t it we need to hold ourselves up and learn to love more of our self before we can really give a part of us to anyone?

In between smiles, I have a world where sadness is what smiles mean because you can’t express your feelings in fear of being unaccepted.

In between tears, I have a bittersweet world where the bitterness of no one really cares gets to me but the sweetness of hope that someday God will deliver the right person for me.

In between sighs, the future of my dream is my world where all the places I want to travel is just a few steps away but also a thousand miles too far yet faith is planted in my heart that if I believe through it all and add just a little bit more of hard work, I’ll have my boots on those grounds some day. Some day.

We live to cry, to smile, to break hearts, and to be heartbroken, and eventually to die but most of all while we live, we make sure to really LIVE and not just breathe.

In an Uncertain World

Uncertainties in life threaten our hold on security and it must be one of the scariest feeling in the world. Even though the cliche goes that we have to step out of comfort zone to experience ‘real life’, you can’t not think about just diving into what you want head on because let’s face it, you can’t really live a life without having to worry about what you’re gonna eat for the day or the roof you’re gonna live in. And that’s the biggest factor hindering us in thriving for our dreams.

At least for me, it is.

If I only had it my way, I wouldn’t work in the corporate world. I would want to be a writer full-time where I get to travel to places I want to go and catch some inspiration from them. But how can I do that when I don’t have the money to support it. I feel like I’m being a pessimist right now because of my views, but this is the real world and life is never fair. 

I’ve been feeling down for the past few month because of this and the fact that I’m frustrated with my current job because I’m not doing what I love and actually, there’s not much money in doing what I love because when you’re a starting writer, there’s really nothing. But I do hope someday, even just in the sidelines I get to do my dream.

Amidst all these worries and uncertainties, I always end up doing something I regret because of depression but I am just amazed at how God never forgets to give me reminders of His love and support. I was checking my emails today when a daily verse really struck my situation at the moment:

“I TELL YOU, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WHAT YOU WILL EAT OR DRINK; OR ABOUT YOUR BODY, WHAT YOU WILL WEAR.  IS NOT LIFE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FOOD, AND THE BODY MORE IMPORTANT THAN CLOTHES?  LOOK AT THE BIRDS OF THE AIR; THEY DO NOT SOW OR REAP OR STORE AWAY IN BARNS, AND YET YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER FEEDS THEM AND WHY DO YOU WORRY ABOUT CLOTHES?  SEE HOW THE LILIES OF THE FIELD GROW.  THEY DO NOT LABOR OR SPIN.  YET I TELL YOU THAT NOT EVEN SOLOMON IN ALL HIS SPLENDOR WAS DRESSED LIKE ONE OF THESE.” ( MATTHEW 6:25-26; & 28-29 )

So right now, I won’t worry that much anymore because somehow God has given me assurance that He will always be there to help me and that He has a plan for me, I just need to practice patience a bit more harder.

I guess I can’t say I’m instantly cured of my feeling of uncertainty, from time to time, it’ll always sprung up but I’m just really glad that I know God is there for me. So please, Lord, help me achieve something fulfilling in my life.